last week i found out that my uncle randy passed away unexpectedly. i was completely heartbroken and shocked – he was the picture of health and so full of life. i can’t remember the last time, if ever, i’ve felt grief quite like this. most big losses i’ve felt at least came with some warning…but this was so sudden that i’m still struggling to comprehend the reality of a world without randy in it.

the first few days i felt physically sick. in his book, a grief observed, c.s. lewis talks about how he didn’t realize grief felt so much like fear until he experienced it when his wife died. anxiety, butterflies in your stomach, adrenaline…it’s weird how physical emotions can be.

anyway, i wanted to mention something about it here because it seems odd not to. it seems odd to move on to the next book report or music post and not at least mention how my world has shifted. we all have to go, but it seemed too soon for randy. he had a lot left to give and i just have to trust that there was a reason for it. i’m really thankful for the time he had here and all the hilarious stories he’s left us with. i was lucky to know him, and extra lucky to call him my uncle. 

^^ whenever i feel down or need a pick-me-up, heading to the natural gardener always helps. they sell lots of plants, flowers, and trees, but also have some animals and let people wander their grounds for free. here are some pictures i took today…the monarch is for randy. when we were kids he would bring us a little plant with a monarch caterpillar on it every year. we would watch it eat the leaves and get ready to transform…it was always a bit like christmas morning when it finally made its cocoon. a monarch chrysalis is beautiful, by the way, google it if you haven’t seen one. when the butterfly emerged we’d let it go free…it was such an awesome way to learn about nature and science. ^^

^^ she was pooped after a long day of exploring. ^^

^^ this gal’s name is biscuit and i don’t think she liked our dog, haha. ^^

^^ so thankful for brent. not sure what i’d do without this man in my life. ^^




3 thoughts on “lately

  1. I can’t imagine not having Randy around either. I loved how he just showed up sometime without warning. It was always fun to be around him. Will miss him tremendously.

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