imagining defeat


she woke me up at dawn,
her suitcase like a little brown dog at her heels.

i sat up and looked out the window
at the snow falling in the stand of blackjack trees.

a bus ticket in her hand.

then she brought something black up to her mouth,
a plum i thought, but it was an asthma inhaler.

i reached under the bed for my menthols
and she asked if i ever thought of cancer.

yes, i said, but always as a tree way up ahead
in the distance where it doesn’t matter.

and i suppose a dead soul must look back at that tree,
so far behind his wagon where it also doesn’t matter

except as a memory of rest or water.

though to believe any of that, i thought,
you have to accept the premise

that she woke me up at all.

words: david berman / “imagining defeat” from actual air
photo: iphone / hillside farmacy (austin, tx)


music // 09

it’s been a long week already. work has been dragging and i’ve been feeling very frustrated with obligations, office politics, etc. etc. etc. wah wah wah.

i listened to this album this morning and it helped. this has always been one of my favs. here’s to getting over hump day.